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Recording | Mar 11 2003

I lie in bed, my tape recorder resting on my chest, and drift off to sleep.

I shouldn’t let myself lie down like this. When I lie down I drift off to sleep. I tell myself I won’t, but I do. This moment of telling myself I won’t interests me. It interests me because I know I’m lying, because I’m not fooled, because I’m only saying I won’t so I’ll let myself lie down.

My mind skips around. I can’t concentrate on what I’m trying to do.

This tape is going to be weird, I can’t remember what I said. I keep drifting off into these little dreams. I feel as if I’ve recorded the dreams. When I wake, I feel as if I’ve recorded the dreams. But of course I haven’t. I must be depressed. I’m drifting off to sleep because I’m depressed, because my life or something is depressing me.