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Things By Others 2004

The Letter map of Dallas/Fort WorthWhen I approached the ticket counter and requested a ticket to Fort Worth, the clerk became visibly upset.
[via Riley Dog]

Nothing orange cone Why am I still preoccupied with it?

Crossing Over to Beakless asphalt I felt compelled to choose between the void I knew and the void I did not.

Lessons from Television chorusThe condition of freedom is abasement. Abasement is as infinite as desire.
[via Riley Dog]

Our Relationship Demands A Spreadsheet office W-T-F, but whatever

not scared, just confused feather duster We moved to a new country and all the spooks are different here.

A Blessing and A Curse Gobi desertWoe unto you if your offerings do not delight me to the wellsprings of my being.
[via Riley Dog]

Family Bondage Big starring Tom Hanks That's my mother's mother, Rose. The one fellating a pickle.

Surprising Ham Ham If I can go boldly into space, I can be just as bold in your bed.

Interview with the Parents of a High School Basketball Star geese But what if he wanted to become darkness, like in the garage?
[via Riley Dog]

Oatmeal baked potato Keats told me about writing the "Ode to a Nightingale."

Hot Bikes brass knuckles I paced outside Crate & Barrel staring at the invisible bike. Fuckers.

Dear Picasso museum wall I like you a lot, you were a great genius, but you know, personal taste and all.
[via Riley Dog]

Married brideI'm blushing, right? And I had a garter, even if it was for my flask. See? I'm traditional.

Cock Vagina Rectum Buddy HollyA lot of times, but not all of the time, when I say I'm never going to do something, it's a sure sign that I will.

Sticks cupcakes The first I brought a date over she said: what's with your dad and that pole? and I sat there blinking.
[via Riley Dog]

Before You anchor "I have to live in the past," she said. "Those were my best years."

Statuing ballon swanTime passes. I breathe very little. He remains.

Why I'm Going to Hell: Exhibit B Dr. PhilWell let me tell you little girl, you can't stare the bull in the eyes and expect him to back down unless you're fondling his testicles.

yesterday i burned things minivan I'll wear glasses. I'll learn to golf. The other moms will love me. I'll say, okeydokey.
[via Riley Dog]

Another Puppet Show tunafish can I am the Fox, all brown fur with a pointed nose. I’ve been the Fox since my voice changed.

The Naked Face facesThe people with the pen between their teeth found the cartoons much funnier.

Dear Picasso ambulanceI know you’re dead.
[via Riley Dog]

giant ants burning at night hand grenade The desert is a beautiful place, I found. It has a kind of quiet that gives you room to think at night when you’re oiling your weapon.

When Mine Was Ours coconut Boss, I’m willing to marry up to six women and wear feathers in my hair if it’ll keep the mine right here.

Memento tattoo of the words, 'find him' How can I heal if I can’t feel time?

Six Apologies, Lord clouds I Have Loved My Horrible Self, Lord.
[via Riley Dog]

A Modern Short Story road A quirky yet believable character was presented in such a way as to garner sympathy and interest.
[via Riley Dog]

Make It Stop digital clock.jpg If I could watch myself do this, I would yell at myself the same way I would yell at the girl in the horror film: bad idea!

We Are Men of Action mashed potatoes I talked to the prisoner and said I really needed him to put his arm in the machine for me.

The Amazing Daniel amazing He spoke in a barely audible mumble and stared at the ground a lot.

Talk Dirty club sandwich You can tell a lot about a person by what turns them on.

Everyone Has Probably Left By Now earth How did we end up like this?

The Dawn Of The Aerospace Age plumber Our act was not popular.

Glut Your Soul On My Accursed Ugliness Lon Chaney After recess Mrs. Ackley announced that he was getting all zeros on his assignments.
[via Riley Dog]

Obsolete Obsolete 0001 I took the pen I had stuck behind my ear and made a note at the bottom of the first page of Zero's file. "Note: no sense of humor."

Entropy and Heat Death Humpty Dumpty All these things, if not quite beyond dispute, are yet so nearly certain that no philosophy which rejects them can hope to stand.

Bars poetica fire escape God in, on, as, with, to, around, because who knows because.
[via Riley Dog]

2 Susan Sontag There is a deep part of me that believes that the past never existed and the future will never be here.

I’m Trying To Help You Be A Better And Happier Person collage section Each night I coax brief segments of time through the dark crack at the bottom of my bedroom door.

i didn’t really notice him until he began tipping to the left woman using abdominal device he seemed to push off from the corner in a sort of “i am buffeted by the winds of life but i will right myself and keep going” kind of way.